Golden Boy

It was another night out on Mill with my friends and I was, once again, counting the excessive amount of v-necks and Jesus chains at the bar when I saw one of my best guy friends (who I will refer to as Dodo for the remainder of this post) from high school come cruising through the door. Letting out an embarrassingly loud cry of excitement, I dodged my way through the throngs of drunk Arizona State students and threw myself into his arms before I even realized that he'd, sadly, shown up with some douchebags we'd both gone to school with.

Noticing that the lead douchebag was still as attractive as he had been back in the glory days, I made sure to shoot a flirty smile to the OTHER guy and completely ignored the Golden Boy at my elbow. After a few minutes of everyone bull-shitting and me introducing my friends to the gathered group, I heard a cleared throat and, "I'm *GoldenBoy*, I went to high school with this guy here."

I'm rarely proud of myself for comebacks, but I remember looking him over head-to-toe, taking a sip of my beer and replying, "I know. You went to high school with ME. I'm Kaytlyn. Nice to meet you....again."

"Wait, we've met before? I think I would have remembered that," he oozed, annoyingly charming in the face of my bitchiness, "I think I would have remembered you."

"I suppose, we probably never officially met," Another slow sip of beer, "I think I just HEARD about you."

You should have seen his face.

Sidenote: I have NO idea where that came from. To be fair, I probably had heard a few things back in the day about him, but I didn't remember any of the specific rumors at the time. Shit, I still don't remember any of the crap that got talked about him. I just knew he was pretty and, perhaps more importantly, he KNEW he was pretty, which annoyed me. I think the most I remembered at that particular moment in time was that he played football. End of knowledge.

But it got his attention. Taking a long drink, I watched his eyebrows hike up and his eyes flash before he shot me a swoon-worthy smile, "Well, I hope you heard good things. If not, I might have to buy you a drink to change your opinion."

"One drink probably won't do that. I'd try a keg," I answered laughing, before whipping around in a grand fashion to start dancing to whatever Rihanna song was blaring through the patio speakers at the time. I definitely felt like it went something like this:

Although, to be more accurate, I'm sure it actually resembled something closer to this:

Regardless, I spent the rest of my night laughing, drinking and dancing with my friends. Golden Boy did the same and even managed to get me to dance with him a few times, which I enjoyed a little too much for my liking.

Don't get me wrong. I am all for dancing with hot guys. But he seemed a little too awesome. And I didn't want to be happy about the fact that this specific plaid shirt-wearing, beanie-rocking football doucher from my past was paying attention to me. But I was.

We exchanged numbers before I left. The predictable text flirtations began. We ended up meeting over at a mutual friend's house and hanging out, staying up until the crack of dawn, talking abut pretty much everything we could think of while I giggled into his shoulder at his bad jokes and play-swatted at his arm like we were in junior high. Yup, I was that girl.

Blissful ignorance.

I realized a little later the next day, after we had parted ways with a remarkably epic goodbye kiss, that I was missing eighty dollars from my purse. Normally, I would never have that much cash on me to begin with, but I was planning on getting my hair done from my ride-or-die Carly and knew I would need the cash. I had even swung by the ATM when I was walking back from the bars with Golden Boy and our friends. Confused as all hell, I texted him (and some other friends) to see if they maybe had seen what the fuck I had done with it.

Him: U gave it 2 me. 

Me: What are you talking about?

Him: I asked u to borrow sum money until my mom got back in town. U don't remember?

Me: I don't remember because we didn't have that conversation. Ever.

Him: Babe... don't be mad. I'll pay u back.

Me: Are you serious right now? You need to pay me back TODAY. Right now, actually.

Him: I don't have any money until my mom gets back in town. Don't be mad. I swear I'll pay u back. It was just a loan.

Me: It doesn't count as a loan when you TAKE it out of my purse without my knowledge. That's stealing. It's THEFT.

Him: Technically, but u know I care about u... I'll totally get it back 2 u.

He then proceeded to ignore all of my phone calls and texts for the next two days. I finally texted Dodo and asked him if he knew what the hell was going on with his friend and he answered:

Damn... I shoulda told you. We haven't been cool in awhile, I just ran into him that night. He's totally messed up on H.

Heroin, apparently.

Yes, I was rolled for eighty dollars by a heroin addict, because it never occurred to me to take my purse INTO the bathroom with me at a friend's house. Motherfucker straight up cuddled up to me AND kissed me within minutes of snatching money outta my wallet. The fuck up outta here with that...

And to quote my infinitely-wise mother, "And people wonder why I drink."

:)